It fascinated me; the content it found for me fascinated me.
However, It made me feel much less special about myself.
I don't think that's a good thing - not now.
When all my self-esteem fizzles away, like it did during past few days,
-when I fully realize the distance from my world, when I realize social awkwardness doesn't just disappear as time goes,
then I'll hit rock bottom.
Some humbleness is necessary for me.
Self esteem is like grass; it's beautiful - if it weren't present, there would be just mud. But as it grows, it grows ugly. It needs to be trimmed. Yet trim carefully - you still want to have something when you're done.
There's one thing I need more than a beer and a walk through the night.
A hug. The most advanced weapon to tell the bad guys "go fuck yourself".
Yet never, never would I regard it as a weapon.
Just the very opposite.
Someone said: "All poems are about love or death."
I thought; and now I ask you. Aren't these the exact opposites?
I hope I'll get to develop this idea sometime. It's very important to me.
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