New year's eve

I have lots to say, but little time.
I'll spend my final two days of the year in my family's flat in Alps.
Thus, you can't expect anything from me during these days.

I also feel bad about neglecting this blog for last couple days.

And I have decided that I'll make more content about feelings and things I like, rather than describing my everyday life.

3 in the morning.

Trough the last few days I've build a some kind of alternative routine.
During the day I work on my seminar work from latin,
during the night I play Fable III.

Can't understand why people hate on that game so much.
It's great.
Though I must say the fun things are a bit...specific. Might not suit everyone.
But I love it.
Shame for the bad PC port.

And the latin-
dammit all to hell.

But I must say one thing.
I'll probably remember dithyrambs and haruspicism till the end of my days.

Opera

I can proudly say 43 % of views on this blog, which is majority, is viewed using Opera browser.
Not so proudly I can say, most of these views are mine,
but anyways!

It's a good statistic.

completelyseriouscomics.com

Check them out.

This is a great one,
telling a lot about life,
about the stupid shit of modern americanized society.
I don't want to insult Americans though. It's just the politically-economical climate in there that makes people...different.

My new baby darling.

My first electric guitar.

Ready to rock?

I am.

Father Christmas really outdid himself this time.

It is what I wished for,

and even more.

Human race was not made to be contented.

We always strive for more.

But this is just much more than I could have thought I'll get. Woohoo!

If you ever get mad...

For your angry moods,
bad feelings,
listen to this,
It'll make you feel better.
I promise.

This blog's views

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So can you understand?

captiousness

pettiness

quiddity

smallness

vanity

• fiddle-faddle

narrow mind

...is what troubles me.

When things are serious,

and they are,

When there is a need,

and there is,

When someone is hurt,

and there is.

This idea is not helping, but:

If everyone is in crysis, people help each other.

But if only few are,

They are banished from the society.

Lose your illusions

Yesterday night was very peculiar.

But it taught me much.

It taught me things I'd rather not know.
Because people tend to get bitter, if they realize these things.

I try to be good to people,
so I expect the same back from them.

And if you say "I'll come" 
I expect you to come.
And if you don't come, and it's getting late,
I ask you "Are you even coming?"
And you are not supposed to answer "Who is there with you?"
Not only it makes me feel shitty, it is also arrogant and mean.
I invited you somewhere.
You either want to go, or you don't.

And the thing I absolutely don't understand is,
why after me answering about how interesting it is here,
you change into an all caps rage "I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!".



I want to care,
I want to help.
But you mustn't be like that on me.
I don't deserve it.

I treat you with dignity.

Why don't you treat me with dignity?

I get it---you have your own, personal problems.
But do you think I don't have my fucking own problems?
I'm not a punching bag.
I want to help,
but I don't want to be a target of your misdirected anger, or violence.

And this is a message for far more than 1 person.
Lots of people are acting this bitchy recently.
And I want to be good,
but I'm all out of energy.

Tonight,
I got kicked out of a bar. Just because I'm not 18 yet.

First time it ever happened to me.

And it happened to me twice during a single night.

Simply said, bad luck has been following me.

But also, some great things happened today, that I wish to speak of.

But I am not able of doing so, not now.

Sometimes,
the people,
no matter what good you've done them,
shit on your back.

Me and my friends had an agreement. I always considered them true.
But today was very disillusioning.

I try my best.
But I can't keep going on,
if I don't see anything around me change.
If your deeds have no meaning,
there's no reason for them.

I always try to be honest.
It's hard.
But I try to.

Why don't you do so as well?

Choose your last words,
this is the last time,
cause you and I,
we were born to die...

I still hear this in my head.

People grieving at Prague's Castle after death of our former president, a respected man, who help restore the democracy in our country. We are more grateful than we realize.

The statue is of T.G. Masaryk, first president of the republic, after the fall of Austro-Hungarian Empire.

This photo is wonderful.

I love my city.

Not a valid equation

Someone simple minded said:
Rich father = arrogant kid

That's just stupid. And mean. And aggresive.
My old man is not poor either, yet I very much doubt I am arrogant.

Oh god, that's surely not me.

Some say having rich and famous parents is a privilege.
Though almost all of the people who say that have absolutely mundane parents.

Personally, I'd hate to read about my parents in newspapers.
Which might just happen.
I can't be more exact.
Nothing official yet.

Press is a bitch.

My only company's the night gone black.

Things indeed are complicated.
Thank god for that.

A quick tip:
You wanna make money, take initiative.
That's what I'm doing now.


Since the day after tomorrow is a day off, I'm gonna go to a cozy little club for a nice cold few beers tomorrow.
First great thing in few weeks.

And I'm beating myself up.

Today told me much.

We had a sort of Christmas celebration in school.
Giving out presents.

I gave 8 gifts.
I got one.

And you know what?
That's exactly how I imagine myself,
how I want to be.

Though I feel very much like a loser now.
Even in humblest of my ways to look at myself,
I know I deserve more.

After this event,
notably disillusioned,
I went to give English class to a little kid.
And he gave me a present.
That truly blew me away.

I get a good pay for those classes.
And they are such a nice people.

But even though by saying this I hurt myself, I have to ask:
Would they be still such nice if it was I, who needed something from them, not the other way around?


If I was asked this question, I would have answered sure, they would.
But I am a naive good guy.
And most of relationships between people are far gloomier in the real world, than they are in my head.

It’s okay to be afraid of what’s inside another mind.

Lovely Shirley, my platonic love, strikes again.

The buzz

Yesterday a czech ex-president of utmost importance died.

He was a great person and a fighter against communism.

He got the wheels of revolution moving and helped many people.

He also was quite an important person in social life here in CZ.

So R.I.P. Václav Havel.

But the media storm that was unleashed after his death is demeaning.

Politicians who openly hated him now praise him to heaven.

Czech popular artists race to honor him in the most creative ways.

TV and radio did stream only 2 things today. Kim Chong Il’s death and Václav Havel’s death.

Masses are held at churches for Havel.

People come to the castle in our capital, Prague to write down RIP messages.

But it’s all very distasteful.

Making bussines out of his death.

I hate people who use his passing away only to make themselves visible in the media right now.

I also hate the very media right now.

The craziness of this time is not very far from making plush Havel toys.

Just terrible.

He sacrificed his whole life for the country, for his family.

And even though I very much dislike the principle of nationalism,

He should be respected for that.

His family should at least be given the peace.

It’s almost like the death of princess Diana.

I don’t want Czech Republic to be like that.

Neither would he.

Is persistence creepy?

I quite well remember conversations that I find sort of… interesting.

Just now I remembered something I heard few weeks back and it surprised me.

It was during my English class. Which with skills we do have are usually composed just of talking with our prof. A very friendly guy. And so, through stream of ideas, we got ourselves to face the quiestion „Do girls like more sad guys or cheerful guys?“.

Most of girls answered „sad guys“.

I never would have guessed that. If I were dating someone, I’d like her to be happy, cheerful. Not sad.

I must say, I don’t understand why sad guys are better. Can anyone explain?

(And to add a little bit of my personal skepticism, I don’t think girls do actually like sad guys. I think it’s just another thing they say without realizing it’s not true. Something like „Persistence is sexy“. But when guy actually is persistent, they call him creep).

Merry effin Christmas.

I just overwhelmed by Christmas feeling.

A day of skiing, in hard terrain, in -10°C.
Then come back to my appartement, take a shower,

Lay in bed,

Start listening to Franz Ferdinand’s Bite Hard,

Open up VLC player.

And what do I see? VLC logo is wearing a Santa hat!

That immediately made me feel great.

So great actually, that I wondered if I’m not pregnant J.

Observe: first time I used a smiley in this blog.

Skiing is the best sport you could ever find.

It’s so much fun.

And even lazy ass with no physical training like me can ski without getting uncomfortably tired.

What more could I wish for?

Oh yes, I know: I could wish for more snow, so I wouldn’t have to ski on rocks.

Everyone peed a little in their pants when they heard Zelda sing and play harp for the first time, admit it

I used to play Skyrim. It’s good.

But today, I started playing Skyward Sword. Amazing, gorgeous.

I got my Wii hacked, so there’s been some problems running it up, yet it was absolutely worth it.

By far the best game for Wii I’ve ever played.

So relaxed, cute and innocent. Just like lots of other games for Nintendo console’s – now I mean especially Pokemon for GBA – it just makes you feel on the top of the world.

And It’s got a really wonderful soundtrack. It doesn’t happen to me very often, but during the opening cinematic and further into the game, I felt chill on the back of my spine. That great it is.

And when I already got into talking about great video games,

I’ll tell you my top 2.

Dreamfall: The longest journey and Fahrenheit (in US known as Indigo Prophecy).

I don’t play adventure games very often. But these two are absolutely the best industry has to offer.

An intriguing and complex story,

Great, original, lively surroundings.

The characters worked out to absolute perfection.

And it all boils down to a great end.

Out of these two, I prefer Dreamfall.

Get it if you can.

Interesting fact – none of these are fighting games.

No mindless shootings.

Instead you can find some scenes with absolutely great cinematic effects. Such as in Fahrenheit, when you are limited by time, the screen divides into 2 parts, in one is your character and you play it, in the other is the enemy trying to reach the same thing.

Aesthetic climax.

A vacation, finally!

I am going to Austria to spend the weekend. Be back on Monday evening.

Not a good day, that's for sure

I feel like shit.

I went to school today for my first two classes only, then I skipped the rest.
I feel bad for doing so. I think it's very immature. I haven't skipped a class on purpose for a pretty long time. But I just couldn't go on. I almost fell asleep in school.

Also, this evening I was supposed to go to a ball. Missed that one too. Just to rest in fucking bed.
Just the attitude I always hated.
But I just need a break from my extremely tiring routine.

This blog solely takes up very much of my energy.
It makes me think and doubt the obvious.
Which is good, if there's anything good to think of.

But at least, this crazy time is about to end soon.

I hate the stressfulness and the celebration of consumn the Christmas carries.
And it just raises the pressure on me.

But damn, I could sure use the holiday, and the presents.
I'm running short on terrible amount of things.

I'm using a borrowed mp3 for about half a year now.
I don't have my own electric guitar, so I get to learn something on electric guitar one hour per week.
I have a phone for 20 bucks, cheapest samsung you could find, only calls and sms (and the sms memory is only 500 sms').
I need few parts for GBA cartridges that I'm trying to fix. Mainly batteries, but they're expensive as shit.
I need a computer mouse. Since my last one broke, I've been using a touchpad only.
I need an extra remote for Wii.
I want a capo for guitar.


There never were so many activities in my life before.
Which is good,
but not so easy to handle.
It's pretty exhausting actually.


But, hey, I gotta take challenges.

Srsly, guys?

Do you just write some stupid shit on your facebook and people start writing comments and liking it like crazy?
Does it really work that way?

So dumb.



Things are so dull lately.
There is barely any rest, anything fun to do.

So don't take away the rest of my joy.
Which is obviously exactly what SOMEONE tries to do.
Rather successfully.

In times like these, I just buy me a pack of cigarettes.
But now I don't even have the damn money for one damn pack.
So I guess a no-smoking time is coming.
It never been a problem for me to just "stop" smoking.
For certain reason.
But I always went back to it, after the imminent danger passed away.
By danger meaning either getting caught by parents or a personal bankrupt.
This looks so selfish and pretentious written down.
It's much more complicated in fact.
But it would be foolish to even try to explain what is going trough my mind right now, since I am not really keeping my shit together.

This year is intense.
When I was smaller, I used to cry because of school, because of parents.
I did so very often, it meant little.

But when I cry now, there's gotta be something seriously wrong.
And today shall be counted as the 3rd "shit-is-gonna-hit-the-fan-check". Since September.

Sometimes I wish I just grew wings and flied away.
Or have a pair of arms to hug me.
Other than mine, obviously.

They see me strolling.

From last 2 posts you may have noticed, that I was a little intoxicated yesterday, alright.

But, hey, yesterday times = good times.

So if you’ve seen three 16yo guys in 3-piece suits strolling through Celetná St. in the town centre, yelling seemingly random pieces of what I reckon to be flashes of philosophical enlightenment.

That was probably us.

There’s this lovely club in the very historical centre of the city, ran by students from University of Charles - one of the oldest and most prestigious universities in Europe, they got great beer, great atmosphere. My friends who play in band and I just played the piano, and sung along.

Talking with university students.

Did I mention being drunk as fuck?

But the true reason we went there, was to have a talk about problems.

We were 3 guys who went there.

One of these guys, who is also one of my best friends (I don't play "BFF's", but it's just a guy who gets along great with me), had um... relationship problem.
It's really quite a secret, so I won't tell more.

He was quite desperate, so we helped out happily.

Things are much easier to decide when you're drunk.

A real nature of a man reveals.

No tricky plays, no stupid want for attention and recognition.

Plus lots of "side factors" just disappears.

And I know drunks' talk isn't always the most productive thing.

But at least the essence of the ideas is true.

Though the way we said it was quite similiar to how a person suffering from Tourette's would say it.

I'm not sure the other 2 of us were the best advisers though.

A gay guy and me, who never actually had a girlfriend.

As much as it hurts to admit.

You know, I ain't living in no America.

Girlfriends are not a consumer good here.

Relationships are always more serious, more genuine.

American kids imagine having a girlfriend to be one of their "objectives".

When I think of it, I'm actually happier with the way it goes here.

Though in my case...

It doesn't feel comfortable to talk about it.

If a cute girl knows her pokemon.

It's a proper time, to serenade her with something crazy and great, such as first verse of this bay city rollers classic.

Did anyone remember of Love Actually when I pointed out this song? If not, It would seem I haven't raised you properly.

I deserve better

...than I get.

I need a girl who loves me.

Why do ordinary assholes get more than I do?
I deserve much more.
There never has been anything such as fair in this world.
I got pretty much used to that.
But now I miss little bit of fair.

I!m writing this whole post with closed eyes.
Maybwe it has something to do with the fact that I'm drubk.

But it only supports what I hope and what I try for.

I feel I need to share

I feel I need to share something at least.

So there it goes:

I have 3 kinds of being drunk
-the philosophical one - occurs only when I get drunk when a major change occurs in my life. It is always the best kind of drunk, since I get to philosophical understanding in life.

-the "need for attention" mood. When I get drunk and I become so funny I attract everyone to laugh at how drink I am. The best kind of stories come from this kind of being drunk.

-the "horny" kind of being drunk. I always try to hit on a girl. But not solely because I want to have sex with her. Not at all because of sex. I do so because I need to feel home with someone. I need to have someone I'd share everything with. This is the most often case and it always ends up with me sitting in a corner, being sad over being rejected.
Feeling like an asshole.
I may be many things but not an asshole.
I hope at least.

Disregard alcohol, aquire blog post.

I shouldn't be writing nothinf ow.
I'm seriously durnk.

I know I ¨§m msaking typos.
Buzt I'm not gonna fixy tem up.

Fuck-

This is the last time,
cause you and I, we were vborn to die.,

So much on my mind right now,
But I can't pugt it im words,

I used to feel much more certain about things.
I guess,


You have no idea, how much I'd like to post things like  Some kindof wonderful or Pride and joy here.
Buzt  I'd be just lying to myself.
And I don't like that.
Lying to myself I mean.


I súent whole day today listening to a single song.
A grteat one,..

there it goes.

But it hurts!

I went on,
eliminating the monstrous amounts of useless stuff in my bedroom.

I found an old Nintendo gameboy advance. That caused quite an obstruction in the cleaning process, since I couldn't stop playing. I just wish I had all the time I could possibly want to play pokemon again!

I decided to count my Magic: the gathering cards.
There's maybe something about 500 of them.
|Back when I bought them, the cost was about 15 cents for the cheapest and 5 dollars for the best.
It will be much less now, but I decided I'd like to sell those cards.
I need the money.
Even though I feel again like giving up a little of myself.
I am maybe a secret hoarder.




I finished playing L.A. Noire today.
It's a must-have.
One of the smartest games around.

For old times' sake.

I decided it was a time to completely clean out my room.
Now my back hurts and my mind is dazzled.

Opening drawers I haven't been using for a few years now, because they were full of old junk,
is just like looking straight into your very own past.

I found a calculator I used to play with when I was a little kid. There were teeth-prints on it.
I found my old diaries, now I have a dilemma what to do with them. They're half empty, half full of immature and stupid things. I want to throw them away, but it just feels like throwing out a part of myself. A part of myself I love. The innocent part. Is it another foul-play of self-preservation?

Then I found my old Magic: the gathering cads. I used to be quite good.
I found manuals for old video games I used to have when I was small. Like the Lego: Rock Raiders. God, that was a great one. Still is, I'm going to talk about it in some further post for sure...
I found my pencils and drawing kit. I've had some of those since kindergarten!
I found ticket to Iron Maiden concert I went to when I was about 13, or 12 even. First concert I ever visited.
I found a diploma from trip organized by my my school to pick new students. I still believe it to be my greatest success, having gotten to attend PORG.
I found a flyer from my family's vacation.

Pretty much my whole life in a box.
That makes me so sad.
I always cared more about experiences and feelings, than about materialistic riches.
But at moments like these, I wonder, what the fuck do I leave behind?

Time for a few songs.

I will now just post few songs I love. Hope you like at least some of them.

I just found this song and I must say, I love it!

How the video displays regular group of friends from suburb.

And how they lose their innocence.

Good idea, but the masterpiece is hidden in truly mind-shattering realization.

"I'm a yoyo.

And it feels magnificient on the way up."

- Shirley Manson

Energy flow

As I’ve already said a couple of times, I don’t like imperfect over-simplification.

But for now, let’s think about this equation:

Energy = happiness

Again, as it’s always with me, being contented with your life and being happy does NOT equal.  By happy, I really mean more of a cheerful.

I admire energetic people.

I am giving my hundred, yet I see people who just smile all the time, handling as much of a workload, seemingly with ease.

I don’t hate myself for that. It’s not that I’d be worse than those people. I am just different. I have different wants and needs.

But right now, I feel like shit.

Didn’t have decent sleep recently.

Not going to have one today either.

Though I must say I cause this, I just don’t go to sleep.

If I take it as a higher force, not my conscious not-wanting to go to sleep, I just ask why?
Why do I do this to myself all the time, knowing I’ll regret?

Imagine a lake and a sea.

The sea is energy we use.

The lake is energy from sleeping.

The water from lake slowly streams to the sea.

You need rain (sleep) to keep the same level of water in the lake all the time.

Though there’s still water in the lake you can use, even though it doesn’t rain.

But then, you can either use the water up and then you’re fucked, or a miracle in form of great rain can came.

And I feel like the lake’s almost empty and water all run out, with no chance to a rainy day anytime soon.

Don't be so sad on me, m'boy!

A guy today told me:

„Oh, by the way, don’t be so sad, like you have been lately“

I didn’t realize I may have seemed to be sad.

But I guess I do.

I’m totally flushed out.

But I am happy overall.

Or am I just kidding myself with that?

I hope I’m not.

But I guess I’ll never know.

Somehow lately, when I say "Everything is fucked, ain't it?"

I hope for reassurance.
Not for denial.

A village to city, a monkey to man

I like to compare the evolution of mankind, civilization or art to little personal evolutions of every little human.

I had just this interesting idea today:
I figured that certain styles of art in history quite fit certain life outlooks in different ages.
Early teenage years are classicism.
Then the path divide.
Someone becomes familiar with the philosophy of Enlightenment period.
Someone goes just for the opposite for romanticism.

Either way, I'm fucking tired.

That was poetic.

Weather Report

Did you know that Weather Report's bass player is actually Czech?

But Weather Report is not the report on my mind right now.

School year in my school isn't divided to semesters, but trimesters.
3 reports a year.
One of them coming tomorrow.
The shit is gonna hit the fan.

If this trimester was Greek tragedy,
the previous couple days would surely be the 4th act, Peripeteia (see: Poetics by Aristotle)
Now, I'm headed straight for the act 5, the Catastrophe.

Tomorrow is sure gonna be a strange day.
First, I get the damn report.
Then I go to guitar class and for the first time I didn't have the time to learn all I should've.
And finally, I get to go to a concert of classical music, organized by a bank my father has connections to. So that's going to be slightly strange. And I'm not sure yet, whether I'll go there and I'm starting to hope I won't have to. Even though I can appreciate good classical music and this is seriously going to be a great one...

Cowering in my bed, lonely, I just felt the need to listen to these songs.

You keep using that word, I don't think you know what it means.

Lana Del Rey is manufactured.
That's what you can read anywhere on the internet.
Maybe I'm just a big naive piece of idiot,
but I don't trust so.

I've had some experiences myself with girls-pretenders, heartless people who hurt others in their own confusion.
But I don't think Lana is one.

Because I understand those feelings portrayed in her songs.
A music written by some old hideous guy in an Universal Studios basement, L.A., Ca, USA just sounds different.
Her singing is profound, deep, understanding.
She knows what she sings about.
She is familiar with the feelings, she wants to raise the anxiety she knows in her audience.

I've talked to few people about her and I picked up few interesting comments.

One of my friends told me: "Her songs may be depressing, but they're also very playful."

That is a great thing I never really thought about; what does make you feel better about her, than about any other singer?
The simple message, simple songs with lots of beautiful "add-ons".

Other friend told me that it's "Too noire."
I guess he also was right.
But I love this kind of noire.
It really fits me.
Its mood quite resembles my beloved Garbage.
That's exactly my thing.

Those songs feel like they were written for me, like I am the only one able to appreciate them.

tttt.

It's almost 0:30 in the morning.
I used to and I still should go to sleep before 11, considering all I have to do, considering the time I have to get up at.

But there's just too much...
I don't know how to say it.
...too much on my mind perhaps.
I like the sound of it - it feels innocent.
Doesn't it?
I'm starting to get bad on deciding what is innocent, and what isn't.
I've always believed in people.
I still try to.
Though some people give me every possible reason not to.
And not many of those who'd do otherwise.
My backstage knowledge of political machinations here in Prague doesn't help a bit.
In this regard, I know more than I should. That's the dark side of having connections.
Well, not that I'd have made that connections personally.
But chatting a former minister of finance, when he visited my family's house was... eye-opening.

And people, including myself, keep blabbering about their petty little problems.
Not knowing there are problems of far more grave importance,
that, if not solved, might significantly affect their lives.
It's comfortable, to not know.
But comfortable might not always be the best.

The bookmark.

For some people it is rare to ever stumble upon anything worth seeing.

I happen to do so quite often, it may seem, so I present you with another one of my great finds.

It's a LoadingArtist.com webcomic.

Lovely style, lovely themes.

Exact opposite of ElectricRetard.com

though look that one up too.

I get that Cyanide and Hapiness (Explosm.net) is great

but it's not the only webcomic worth watching.

Oh, not by far.

Very well then. 

I think I will do this more often.

You know, to just mention here some of the great stuff I've bookmarked sometime and forgot already.

PS: I found link to this vid on the loading artist and I love it.

Lars Von Recycle, frenchies

This post was written on a Saturday evening, while spending the Weekend with my wider family.
-----

A bit of morning melancholy.

A bit of afternoon melancholy.

A bit of evening melancholy.

I hate and love the peacefulness of weekends at the same time.

The demeaning and uncomfortable family tea parties.

Visiting my grandpa’s grave.

I don’t get a rest on weekends nor workdays, though weekends feel, as if nothing is happening.

There’s just shit going on on workdays.

Weekends are calm, slow, boring, tiring.

It’s peculiar how weather affects the way people feel.

The sky is surrounded by dark gray clouds.

Only in one place the clouds are torn apart by the bright and shiny sun, trying to make its way down to the world of us, simple mortals.

Nothing seems to be working out quite the way I planned.

I know some of the plans were rather simple-minded and desperate, not likely to work.

But some things – I tried to do the best way I could.

I mean most of the things that really matter in my life is okay.

But the daily petty little problems are overwhelming and seemingly endless.

Some things I’ve always taken for granted are falling apart know.

From small things – my goddamned wifi router doesn’t work (that’s why I’m writing this offline).

To stuff that actually matters – I used to be used to being successful at everything I wanted. In certain matters, this makes the taste of loss even more bitter.

Anyway, go and watch Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia.

It’s a great thing. You literally don’t know what the movie will be about until its end.

And for some of those horny little punks out there: completely naked Kirsten Dunst is there.

On how things are

Following post was written on Friday night.

That should give you some hint on what to expect.

Think it's a good idea though. Original one.

I didn't have internet access since, so I'm posting it now.

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I don’t generally like cheap comparisons.

So this one will be the least cheap I can think of, while still possible to comprehend.

The world itself, the giant theater in which we live, is defined by two principles: Space and time.

Those two form the very world.

Everything is happening on a certain time and place. We may not be able to define the great size of such times or places, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

The space is much more concrete out of these two. We may try to define it even on the very basic materialist level: It is the structure of the atoms and molecules, where they are placed.

Well, that was the best explanation I could come up with and still far from objective. I wasn’t able to define space, without saying “placed”. But place equals space, doesn’t it. And it does not have to be the structure of the atoms and molecules. Take vacuum for example. Or space (now I mean the place between terrestrial objects). They don’t have any atoms, yet they are places. Or are they?

Explaining time is much more abstract.

Time is just the “other” measure. Thing may happen in one place, on a different time, or in a same time on different place. Time describes the progression of that, which forms space. Plants and animals grow to live a meaningless life, just to die after and give way to another by their decomposing. Not affecting time in anyway. And what they change in space, time changes slowly back, or to something absolutely else.

Conclusion?

I’ve just proven, how time is merciless. Place is absolutely stripped from emotions, but time, it never stops for a while to let you take a deep breath.

Yet time defines. Time is, I dare say, even more important than place. It gives things a start and an end.

In even greater scheme of things, it means that, however cocky it may sound, that evil usually has a certain purpose.

Isn’t it just so positive?

To know, that the assholes superior to you, whom you have to respect are put in your way for a certain reason.

Maybe things really are in the best possible way, just like Candide and his teacher, Panglos, said.

PS: I realize this post is maybe little bit too hard to understand, so I have a hint for you (if you’re even going to try): When I started writing that post, I had no idea what it’ll be about. The whole thing came naturally to me. So even though it might look very much like an emotionless describing, it is actually feelings put into words. Like almost everything I post here. I’m worried though, that people are not getting it. And I can’t be mad at them – at you – for that. I’m not sure if it’s even possible to comprehend.

See yourself through your deeds

Today, a most peculiar thing happened to me.
While listening to Love Is Blindness cover by Jack White (From a cover album AHK-toong Bay-bi, which is great by the way), I found a sudden enlightenment.

I wondered, how can U2 keep moving on, making still the seemingly same music. Because their music isn't so bad. I find it quite boring, and musical arrangements in it quite primitive, but it carries a certain mood.

And I came to a conclusion:  the only reason, that would make them not find it boring (I mean, making the same old music for many years) is, that the music reflects a part of their personalities.

And people shouldn't get tired of their feelings.
The feelings are most precious they - or we - have.

If you need to relax, I have a recommendation.
Go play Saints Row: the third.
It's so stupid and dumb, that it's great.
Got the game on Friday, and since my weekend was pretty dull, I managed to play it whole to the end.
The end is little confusing and not really closed off, which may be annoying, but otherwise the game really manages to get you into it, get you to really become the "good gangster", as the Saints are described in it.

But enough cheap entertainment.
I'm moving on to L.A. Noire, Werther's suffering by Goethe, Nancy Sinatra and Tree of life.

PS: This is the post nr. 100.

I'm surprised I even made it this far.

Why did I even make it this far?

We were born to die.

Blogging is recommended to war veterans  suffering from post-traumatic disorder.
-And now again, this is a reflection of my emotions, not a single fact.
-I guess I want to achieve the same thing, like those veterans. I don't suffer from any major trauma, I didn't kill anyone or see anyone die. But


Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
 Sometimes loves not enough when the road gets tough
I don't know why
 You're making  me laugh,
 Lets go get high
Road's long, we carry on
Should you have fun in the meantime

-Lana again surprised, cheered when needed.


I am exhaustated, devastated.
Yet I feel very alive.
I don't think I can no longer continue giving my best, without getting any recognition, any appreciation.
I've had enough failure.
I like pushing to the limit. But I've been pushing to the limit just a little more than I can stand.

I need to be comforted.
That's what people who love you do, don't they?
Well, does nobody love me then?
Or is it just a thing those who love you don't do?

There are many mistakes I've made.
The good I've done pales in comparison, though there's more of it. It's simply less memorable.
Good is less memorable.
You don't get known for the rules you follow, but for the rules you break.

Simple, primitive even. But very vivid and graphical.