Lose your illusions

Yesterday night was very peculiar.

But it taught me much.

It taught me things I'd rather not know.
Because people tend to get bitter, if they realize these things.

I try to be good to people,
so I expect the same back from them.

And if you say "I'll come" 
I expect you to come.
And if you don't come, and it's getting late,
I ask you "Are you even coming?"
And you are not supposed to answer "Who is there with you?"
Not only it makes me feel shitty, it is also arrogant and mean.
I invited you somewhere.
You either want to go, or you don't.

And the thing I absolutely don't understand is,
why after me answering about how interesting it is here,
you change into an all caps rage "I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!".



I want to care,
I want to help.
But you mustn't be like that on me.
I don't deserve it.

I treat you with dignity.

Why don't you treat me with dignity?

I get it---you have your own, personal problems.
But do you think I don't have my fucking own problems?
I'm not a punching bag.
I want to help,
but I don't want to be a target of your misdirected anger, or violence.

And this is a message for far more than 1 person.
Lots of people are acting this bitchy recently.
And I want to be good,
but I'm all out of energy.