The love that you felt should be equal the pain you've gone through.

I feel bubbling in my stomach.
Probably, it's just because of the insecurity I feel.

Tearoom is a place of tranquility. A haven to hide, when the day is cold.
But the simple nature of that place makes you think.
And thinking may, sometimes, be intoxicating.
When there is nothing happy to think of.
The safe haven transforms to a gloomy graveyard in a blink of an eye.
Not alone, yet lonely.
People laughing all around me.
And me, just sitting there, smoking hookah and drinking lovely black tea.

When I went back home, I was sitting in a bus, listening to ambient music, barely keeping awake.
But then, I noticed a gruesome picture out of window.
In the middle of the field there was an ambulance and they were picking up a body.
That's all I know.
And it scares the shit out of me.
And what scares me most is,
next to the body, in the foss,
there was a car turned upside down.
A same car, same colour, like my father has.
I was so glad when I saw him arrive home.
Terrifying.

There are no words to describe thoughts flying through human brain.
It would be daft to even try to.
My young senses are not yet deafened to ignore everyday emotions.
I always tried to keep my pokerface.
But in fact, I'm very emotional person.
But there's no one who would see that.
No one I would consider understanding enough to share this burden with.
So I am lonely.
And what more, now, I'm also alone.