***
Holidays.
Just what I needed.
I wasn’t realising it, though.
I managed to squeeze Vienna tourism into a single day.
And what stop caught my attention most?
Surely the mumok.
Modern art museum, that is.
The classic styles of modern art like cubism are quite boring.
The real shit is minimalistic art and pop culture.
For example a huge wall covered only with copies of the same letters with 6 stamps.
Only difference between all those letters were the order in which those stamps were placed on the letter.
And there were all combinations possible.
Also monochromy is quite interesting. But it doesn’t give any space for variation, so there was not really much to see.
And at the end, just when I was beginning to get bored, I saw the greatest spectacle in whole musem.
In a hidden black room, there was a movie playing.
It was basically a shot of a huge long hall in industrial landscape – probably a factory.
And it was in a super-slow motion.
The camera was very slowly (1 meter in 3 minutes or so) moving through the hall, around people were sitting on crates on the sides were slowly eating their bagels, or reading their papers.
I spent almost an hour looking at this single experimental movie.
I really wanted to know what will happen next.
Even though I knew it wouldn’t be anything interesting.
It really wasn’t “worth the while” as someone would say.
But it really struck me.
The industrial noises playing in background.
A dark ambient atmosphere.
It felt just like reading a book, but starting in the middle.
I always enjoyed watching people.
But when you meet a person walking on the street, you don’t feel like there’s some history about them, that you’d need to know to be able to judge them.
This gives a new perspective.
And that’s one of the most important things in life.
These things are so difficult to explain.
But sometimes, life attacks from cover, when you don’t even know it’s there.
That was a bit unclear – let’s just say nothing can surprise more than life.
I mean – I’ve always considered myself almost invincible. Never had to fear for my life.
And yet, death or sicknesses can come with ease – in my lifestyle there’s no way I won’t have medical problems eventually.
But self-preservation complex just doesn’t recognize long-term dangers.
That’s why people smoke. And eat lots of sweeties. And just do lots of stupid shit they know they will regret.
There is a little red ‘STOP’ button somewhere deep inside us.
But the control panel is jammed, and can easily overhear the little security beep.
People are just like animals.
Just like Russian scientists imagined animals, to be exact.
There are really just 2 primal things about our behavior. Reason and animal reflexes.
The whole reason is built on learning to do stuff repeatedly because you get a little treat in the end.
And reflexes are just little pieces of knowledge transferred from mother to son in the DNA that tell you to do stupid shit in front of women. And they also tell us to not use condoms. And basically everything else that is vital for surviving of human race, but these 2 things are the most important.
Self preservation is a reasonable thing – don’t do shit and you won’t get hurt. You don’t get hurt, you don’t feel pain. And you don’t wanna feel pain, do ya’?
Actually everything we do is primitive and greedy.
Even though we desperately try to break the vicious circle.
We strive to be unique.
But not too unique to be condemned to lonely life.
Someone told me that I’m an interesting person.
I consider it a great spiritual achievement.
Because to stand out is painful and hard.
But totally worth the little sacrifices such as happiness.
And happiness does NOT equal being contented.
I am very contented with my life.
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